Beer and totty - pulling guides - how to secure the girl/bird/totty of your dreams

The Beer and Totty Pulling guide's

If these fail - try the Chatup Aid Card!

The Sam technique for pulling Girls

Step 1: First select your intended victim. (The younger the better).
Step 2: Sway with arms rotating (dance) near prey.
Step 3: Approach prey from behind still dancing.
Step 4: Extend hands so that they clench around the victims waist.
Step 5: Manhandle victim around so she/it is facing you.
Step 6: Sway with victim (try not to hit with arms)
Step 7: Extend neck and head toward the victim swiftly.
Step 8: Strike fast and insert tongue into mouth.
Step 9: Keep tongue in position until victim pulls away.
Step 10: Watch victim move/run away from you.
Step 11: See Step 1

The Anna and Liz technique for pulling Blokes

Step 1: Always hunt in packs
Step 2: Get drunk (or desperate)
Step 3: Approach the dance floor
Step 4: Make eye contact every bloke in reasonable radius (50 metres +)
Step 5: Dance (?!)
Step 6: Once suitable eye contact has been made, (accidentally) approach prey
Step 7: Expect Sam Step 8.
Step 8: In true xenomorphic fashion, securely grip victim by face
Step 9: Use wall for support if necessary
Step 10: When bored, relax facial muscles to release victim
Step 11: Receive phone number on scrap of loo roll
Step 12: Return to dance floor
Step 13: Go to Step 4

The Nik and James technique for pulling Girls

Step 1: Get drunk
Step 2: Get more drunk
Step 3: Bottle out.
Step 4: Go to Step 1

The Last resort...

Step 1: Have a pint
Step 2: Have another pint
Step 3: Have a few more pints
Step 4: Play pool with the local hustler
Step 5: Drink a bit more
Step 6: Pull the local hustler
Step 7: Attempt pool position (see opposite)
Step 8: Call pool table repair men!

Vow to use a Chatup Aid Card in the future!